Pumpkin Seeds 🎃

Consider this Halloween, extended edition.

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Today in Tedium: Hey, everyone! I’m back! Anyhow, my love of Halloween isn’t dead, but it sure does smell funny these days. Over the past few years, we’ve published a few Halloween specials featuring plenty of spooky, Halloween-themed stuff. We even tried out a short video/podcast thingy. Last year, we presented a sequel of sorts. And this year, we’re continuing that tradition with some more Halloween-flavored treats for the spooky season. So grab yourself a Butterfinger, put on your favorite spooky tunes, and get ready for another helping of Pumpkin Spice Pop Culture. — David @ Tedium

1966

Cryptids are the cream of the Halloween crop

Halloween isn’t complete without monsters. I’ve read about them, played TTRPG’s that feature them, and even drawn a few, like that mushroom bit baba yaga-style house above.

A few years ago, I was an avid viewer of Dr. Emily Zarka’s Monstrum. It’s a show about the monsters of cultures all around the world. She’s covered by the headless horseman (so have we!), King Kong, and cryptids from around the world.

Monsters are always a fascinating topic, particularly lycanthropes. But we got to thinking more about local cryptids. That is, cryptids specific to a certain area. You know, like the Jersey Devil. Only they’re not limited to the United States. These cryptids and stories about them have traveled across the world.

Cryptids have long been a fascinating subject for us, so we did a little roundup of the four of the most interesting local cryptids we came across.

My criteria for these was a) I think they’re interesting and b) I can draw them. You’ll see why that’s important in a moment.

If your favorite cryptid isn’t here, I apologize. They’re all great. These just happen to be the ones I like the most right now.

Grafton Monster: Grafton, WV. Ah, West Virginia, home to the original sightings of Mothman. The state has another cryptid in its history: the Grafton Monster. It’s supposed to be a tall and pale humanoid creature that may or may not be headless. Oh, and it makes a creepy (sometimes described as “unusual” whistle sound.

Just like our good buddy Mothman up there, sightings of the Grafton Monster began around 1964. Journalist Robert Cockrell described the monster as roughly 7 to 9 feet tall. He also said it looked kind of like a seal but it had no head. I imagine it looks a little something like my drawing above (it’s not to scale).

Dover Demon: Dover, MA. The east coast seems to be awash in cryptids. Massachusetts has the Dover Demon. This one is pretty odd. In 1977, a creature with glowing orange eyes that was only four feet tall was spotted on a broken stone wall. 17-year old Bill Bartlett drew a sketch

Over the next few nights, more sightings were reported. What the kids described sounded like a gray alien right out of Area 51.

What they might have actually seen was a baby moose or a snow owl. Either way, it’s a bizarre local cryptid story and has become legendary around that area of Massachusetts.

Tommyknocker: Georgetown, Colorado. Did you know that Tommyknockers are a real Colorado cryptid? No, these aren’t Stephen King’s Tommyknockers. Instead, these guys are like Colorado leprechauns.

They knock on things from inside a mine. You can’t see them, but they’re there, warning of impending cave-ins or helping miners out.

Sometimes, they’re friendly or described as tricksters. But they’re a Colorado legend, right along with the Yeti’s in Vail, those pesky vampires in Lafayette, and that silly little hotel that inspired The Shining in Estes Park.

Bunyip: Australia. The U.S. has its fair share of local cryptids, but you should see some of the ones from around the world. Take the bunyip, for example. This thing is scary. It’s from aboriginal culture, originally, and is said to resemble a hippo. Or a manatee. Or something with an elongated neck.

Either way, it’s an incredibly deadly creature lurking in a swamp in the inner part of the continent. According to the Encyclopedia Britannica, its origin might be related to the rare appearances of seals upstream in Australia. I suppose that makes sense, but imagine running into one of these things in the wild.

Cryptids often seem to be based on things that really do exist, but the way we imagine or interact with them is what creates the idea of a monster. The human imagination really is a powerful thing, isn’t it?

2012

A brand-new, oddball song for Halloween that never got the chance to live

Last year, we talked about Phish’s famous Halloween shows and a lot of other Halloween-themed music from some of our favorite musicians. This year, my costume is “nerdy guy who’s really into jam bands.” When you look at me, you can just tell I like Blues Traveler. A lot. (Editor’s note: I also enjoy Blues Traveler … when John Popper is not blocking me on social media.) So, of course, I’ll be talking more about my own foray into “scary melodies”.

I’ve been reflecting on something related to my personal musical journey. About a decade ago (perhaps a few years earlier), I wrote what I considered a “Halloween song.” My goal was to make a video for it, release it online, and submit it to The Dr. Demento Show.

As I’ve written previously, getting airplay on Dr. Demento was a singular dream of mine for a long time. It did eventually happen, but not until a few years before Dr. D announced his retirement. It’s been a year since the show ended.

So where does that leave my career ambitions? I dunno. I’ve been honing my craft and playing for fun for years. So it doesn’t really affect things much. The weird music pipeline is just a bit different.

But I want to talk about that Halloween song I wrote so many years ago. I called it “Beware, the Poltergeist” because I thought it sounded fun and kind of cool. It might have been based on a short story or TV episode, but I just don’t exactly recall where it came from.

I started the song, wrote some music, and finished a verse/pre-chorus, but have just never been able to finish or expand it meaningfully. It’s a bluesy tune about a poltergeist who’s kind of a jerk. I thought it was hilarious, and I dig the way I have the melody match the lyric.

The song starts like this (it was originally in the key of B):

There’s a ghost in my house
Trying to push me down a staircase
There’s a ghost in my house
Throwing things all over the place

See? This is just proof that you don’t need an LLM to write a dumb song. I was writing dumb songs years before ChatGPT hit the scene. Also, don’t use an LLM to help you be creative. If you didn’t bother to write it yourself, I don’t want to read or listen to it. Hey, look! Some clouds. I’ll be right back.

(Incomprehensible ranting and light swearing about outsourcing thinking and creativity in the direction of no one in particular)

Okay. I’m back. Anyhow, I wrote a chorus/pre-chorus. It isn’t Vonnegut, but I like it. I’m not sure if I actually want it to say much. After that, the song repeats the “there’s a ghost in my house” bit, followed by an off-hand comment about how much he sucks.

Obviously, the song isn’t going to make it onto the show now. But that’s not the reason I revisit it every so often. I like it. It’s fun to play. I just never managed to finish it. The other day, however, I realized something: it actually is finished, and it always has been. I was just overthinking it and playing it in the wrong tuning.

Not everything needs to be edited or rewritten to death. Sometimes, there’s value in a simple song with an extended guitar bit.

I never recorded it. Until now. So, this Halloween, I present the second-ever released song by my one-man band (which I’m calling Asthmatic Whales nowadays; it used to be The Nostalgia Ward): “Beware, the Poltergeist.”

And there you have it. A silly Halloween song for the truly scary times we’re living in. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did dusting it off and revisiting it. Thanks for reading, and I hope you have a very Happy Halloween.

Those homebrew NES games Spirit Halloween sells? Surprisingly good

In last year’s NES roundup, I briefly mentioned how Spirit Halloween was selling NES carts containing the homebrew title Haunted: Halloween ‘86: The Curse of Possum Hollow. What I didn’t talk about is just how freaking amazing this game series is.
That’s one of three games in the series, alongside Haunted: Halloween ‘85, and Haunted: Halloween‘87: Year of the Witch.

You can pick the games up on Steam or Itch.Io, from the folks who made it, Retrotainment Games LLC. All their stuff is great. There are also physical cartridges on their official website, if you’re into that sort of thing.

These games are standouts among NES homebrew titles; they have a Double Dragon and Mighty Final Fight feel to them. However, the stories are more developed, you can switch characters, there are extra move sets (which is not typical in most NES games), and I had a ton of fun playing through them.

So let’s look at the trilogy. I only own the first two games (purchased directly from Itch.Io)

I haven’t had the opportunity to play Haunted: Halloween ‘87 yet, but if it’s anything like the first two (and particularly, like ‘86), I know I’m going to love it.

I think the first two are definitely standout titles and I recommend them for some 8-bit Halloween fun.

As far as NES Homebrew goes, I’m still pretty enthusiastic about it, all these years later.

33

This year has been a rough one, both for the world and in terms of some of our favorite entertainers passing.

We lost Tim Curry, Dolly Parton, and Patrick Stewart all within a few months of each other. In honor of these icons, here are a few fun facts about each that relate to Halloween:

1. Tim Curry once recorded a classic cheeseball song for the low-budget ’80s HBO movie The Worst Witch called “Halloween Song.” As Gizmodo wrote about it in 2020, “It has remained one of the most wonderful, terrible, bizarre videos of all time, thanks to its unapologetic synthesizer score, baffling lyrics, and the cheapest special effects the ‘80s had to offer—but there’s more to it than its cheesiness. Much more.” (Speaking of Curry, check out this Rocky Horror Picture Showaudience participation recording from 1983.)

2. Dolly Parton was a Halloween enthusiast, and shared half a dozen separate costumes on her Instagram page last year. In the wake of her passing, her fans made her one of the most popular costume options this year.

3. Patrick Stewart reportedly bought a haunted house in Hollywood, then rented it to someone without telling his tenants about it. (They figured it out, and then he came clean.) It’s a tale that he wrote about in his book Making It So: A Memoir.

It’s a sad time, but hopefully, we’ve been able to cheer you up and boost your spirits a bit during this Halloween season (which seems to be shrinking each year, or maybe I’m just getting old). Thanks for reading, and until next time, have a very Happy Halloween!

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Find this one an interesting read? Share it with a pal! And thanks again David Buck for making this issue great as always.

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