Thursday: Three Morning Takes
- Burn the witch
- She’s back
- Our lawyers made us write this
Burn the witch
Like everyone else in San Francisco, I checked out the Liz Holmes doc over the weekend, the allure of which I think was just like: is this crazy circus freak lying to us, or is she only weird? The film was masterful, and I commend all four stars (Liz, her husband Billy, the director Nate, and actress Amanda Seyfried) for courageously inviting us to examine their integrity. But now, while somewhat beside the point, tech leaders have resumed a discussion on this canonical ‘singular evil fraud’ story… for obvious self-serving reasons. Holmes was a witch, burned for behavior that was certainly bad, if greatly distorted by the public, in such a way as it absolved many other founders for uncomfortably similar behavior. Now, there’s a big difference between ‘faking it until you make it’ and wire fraud. But, gentlemen, it’s okay to introspect a bit — are you sure you’re on the right side?
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She’s back
Marissa Mayer, the former Yahoo CEO who… let’s see… banned WFH while building a private baby nursery next to her office… before spending 30 days unveiling 30 different Yahoo logos during a chaotic rebranding campaign… has bossbabed her way into the news cycle yet again. In a New York Times profile of Dazzle AI, Mayer’s personal assistant for women, she admits to asking Dazzle to describe her 10-year-old daughter in “three bullet points” because doing so without AI would be “an impossible task.” (It was an assignment from her daughter’s teacher.) The reaction was swift: Mayer, who tanked Yahoo after commanding execs to dress up as Wizard of Oz characters (real) and threw a Great Gatsby-themed holiday party (also real), was the epitome of 2010s braindead girlboss culture, per critics. But idk, I found the news cycle… charming. Nostalgic. The “Lean In” crew may be a decade older, but they’re still out there empowering women being ruthless capitalists.
Our lawyers made us write this
Twitch streamer Hasan Piker has sued CNN’s token Republican, Scott Jennings, for $72.5 million. The lawsuit claims Jennings intentionally misrepresented an edited clip of Piker to suggest the streamer wants America to resume lynchings. Folks: Pirate Wires believes in free speech. But not nearly enough of you are paid subscribers to fit a $72.5 million defamation lawsuit in our operating expenses. And since we’ve done our fair share of Piker criticism… I’d like to read this statement prepared by the law offices of Kaya, Zacharia, & Hyde: “Hasan Piker does not support lynching* (*other than in justified retribution against healthcare CEOs). Furthermore, his Mao-inspired apparel is not embarrassing, but totally edgy and cool, and he doesn’t electrocute his dog — she just yelps sporadically like that. Please support Piker while he sues anyone who hurts his feelings, and don’t bring up the actual, indisputably terrible comments he’s made, like that bit about America deserving 9/11. Thank you.”
